I have been asked, how did I get through my divorce and I thought I would share with you some steps that I took.
There is a saying that I had to constantly keep in mind, and it was "this too, shall pass". I believe repeating this saying to myself helped convince me that I would eventually get over the hurt. I had to recite this to myself and it took a while, but the pain did go away.
Getting out and about,and being active also helped me a lot. I loved activities that kept me busy and challenged me physically. I actually went back to exploring many of the interests and activities that I enjoyed before marriage, like dance, collaging, and traveling were essential in getting me through tough times.
I decided to develop some new interests, things I had wanted to learn but never seemed to have the time before. There was learning to start my own business, crochet, hike, walking (my favorite). I feel the walking is a good one to get all your pent up physical energy of pain and hurt out. I read more, hung out at coffee bean, and went to movies. I just did whatever I could do to keep my mind busy.
I feel that having one or two good friends to just be with you without asking a lot of questions and who allow you to vent really can be a life saver. I know that there were times I wanted to say how I felt without having to justify my feelings as right or wrong. I did not want advice just a friendly ear to let me know I had been heard.
I would be remiss if I forgot the one important thing and that was prayer. It worked for me; sometimes it was so subtle that I did not realize there were long periods of time I was not sad or hurting, I actually felt okay.
The one thing that I really got was that I was okay just me by myself. It felt really good to be grateful for me, myself. I had always enjoyed being with myself and it was nice to be able to spend time alone and remember who I was. They say that there is are silver linings to everything and for me the time to myself was a blessing.
No matter what happens remember you are okay, just you, and there is always hope.
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5 comments:
Thank you for this post. Going through a divorce is the hardest experience I have ever had in my life, and it is nice to read something from someone who has made it to the other side.
I found your blog through a post of yours on a message board. I've been divorced since 1993. Though it was my choice, it was one of the hardest things I ever did. Today, all those years later, life is wonderful :) Thanks for sharing.
I can really identify with so much of how you dealt with it!
I found all those things helped me cope too - especially re-connecting with the things I loved to do but lost somewhere along the way!
As hard as those first months were though it was the best thing I did for me and my kids!
My neighbor came over to my house and yelled at me over my dog!
I have a dog that I can't keep in my yard. I have tried everything and she always finds a way out. Anyway, this lady comes to my home, knocks on my door and when i open the door she points her finger at me and yells obscenities at me. Apparently my dog was in HER neighbors garbage and then pooped on HER NEIGHBORS LAWN! Why didn't she come and talk to me like a civil human being? Why was she a vicious monster attacking me at my door? I calmly went over to HER NEIGHBORS house where the garbage was and picked up every piece, and the dog poop. I agree that I have that responsibility to clean up after my dog. The one thing I don't agree upon is someone coming to my house and screaming in my face about something I didn't know about. Is anyone out there been blessed with a psyco-neighbor?
I don't think anyone remembers the golden rule...Do unto others as you would want done unto you!
I sent them a lovely card from this site I found...www.URAJerk.com
Tracey, God bless you. You sound like you have your priorities in order and are a wonderful mother. Thank you for testifying to the power of prayer.
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